i'm alive!!! :D

boys are still stupid... throw rocks at them! hehehe.

more later, if anyone is interested...

hey, none of u "friends" told me if the "email all my friends" feature worked or not. hmph!

so, did u get my email?

sorry, my dear tabulites. :) i've been very bad at keeping up with tabulas... i really have no excuse, other than sheer laziness and a hint of wariness that my sister has read/can read my entries. [i was right, btw.] i kinda liked having a completely open, public journal while still being able to talk about some personal things... this was something that i abandoned long ago with lj... but i guess the whole concept of the internet kinda makes that difficult since anybody can access the WORLD WIDE WEB. adur.

it's not that my sister and i aren't close... it's just that i think i have this older-sister complex, where i feel like i can't let her see the more vulnerable side of me. in my family, i'm supposed to be the stoic one. the oldest daughter... the pillar. which is partly why when i'm around my friends, i almost tend to do a 180 and act like the youngest. :P this explains why most people are kinda surprised to find out that i'm the oldest in my family... heh.

anyway, i'm doing well... got my job offer and am ready to have a carefree, fun 3L year. :D took my sister down to duke, had a great time visiting the old alma mater and some old friends [joe, jason cha, annie, derrick, and even ran into daniel li]. kathy's also been in town, visiting her brother, so it's been fun going out with them and catching up with her too. i wish all my old friends would move out to chicago... seriously. pretty please?!?

my heart is doing pretty ok nowadays too, tho with all the extra time i've been having this past week, it's been easier to kinda slip up. like, i still read boy #1's xanga page... i really should stop doing that. bad aleen.

so in a way, i'm really happy to be leaving for ann arbor on saturday... to be surrounded by more friends, old and new. but i'm also sad to be leaving my mommy and doggie... apparently, my doggie went on a hunger strike when my sister and i left for a few days. :*( soooo cute, but yet so sad too... what is she gonna do when i leave for good? sigh. and i feel so bad leaving my mom all by herself... it's times like this when i get mad at my dad for leaving her to grow old by herself. ugh. i don't want her to be so lonely...

she said the saddest thing tonight tho... she said that she wondered what would happen if one day, she just passed away in bed... would we even know that she had died? ugh. depressing... i told her that my sister and i would work out a calling schedule so that one of us would check up on her every day. she got really happy after that, but seriously, how depressing... argh argh argh!

i think there is a chance that my sister has found my tabulas, so i will have to be more careful of what i post publicly. argh. so much for the freedom of tabulas! sigh. i guess this is what happens when all of a sudden, u find some of ur old friends being friends with ur sister too. >.<

potentially good stuff has been happening... :) but some things are either too sacred to write about and/or the potential of jinxing/looking stupid is just too great. so um :X hehe.

i had a good weekend... tho i did something on thursday that my friends would beat me up over. o_O it made me feel better about myself so it's ok. i feel like a better person now.

i just got back from wathcing legally blonde. i knew that it would be too unbelievable, but i never thought it'd belong in the fantasy genre. sheesh. i spent half the movie going, " oh no, she did-ent!" and "omg, puh-leeze!!!"

i think i have lots to say... but my head is kinda hurting for some unknown reason, so i think i will go and lament the fact that i hafta go back to work tomorrow. :*(